Clyde1998's Jokes
"Yo momma so fat she's fat!" '' '' -- Best disser on Earth The are Jokes the Clyde1998 made. More Coming Soon! Ugly *Yo momma so ugly, I mistaked her for a wart *Yo momma so ugly, I mistaked her for Wart *Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, No Professionals." *Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning. *Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it." *Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars. *Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween. *Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her. *Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry. *Yo momma so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow. *Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound. *Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies. *Yo momma so ugly they filmed, "Gorillas in the Mist," in her shower. *Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras. *Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her. *Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say ,"Damn, is it Halloween already?" *Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday. *Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects. *Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints. *Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours...for a quote! *Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out! *Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested! *Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her! *Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone! *Yo momma so ugly the psychiatrist makes her lie facedown. *Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone! *Yo momma so ugly that when she cries the tears run down the back of her head because they're afraid of her face!! *Yo momma so ugly that her face will make a freight train take a dirt road! *Yo momma so ugly the NHL banned her for life. *Yo momma so ugly, she walked into taco bell and they all ran for the border! *Yo momma so ugly people go ask her for Halloween. *Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her. *Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away. *Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. Fat *Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party! *Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!! " *Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!! *Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled, "HEY, KOOL-AID!" *Yo momma fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck. *Yo momma is so fat her waist size is equator! *Yo momma so fat she went bungee jumping and went strait to hell! *Yo momma so fat shes on both side of the family. *Yo momma so fat when she walks around in Texas in high heels, she strikes oil! *Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale! *Yo momma so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he told her to move her fat ole ass over! *Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it. *Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up. *Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction! *Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections! *Yo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER! *Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun! *Yo momma so fat she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book! *Yo momma so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand! *Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says, "To be continued." *Yo momma so fat her nickname is, "DAY-UM!" *Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. *Yo momma so fat we're in her right now. *Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise. *Yo momma so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone. *Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors. *Yo mamma so fat, you have to roll over twice to get off her... *Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world. *Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling, "Free Willy!" *Yo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop! *Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions! *Yo momma so fat, she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says, "Okay!" *Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people say, "Taxi!" *Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized. *Yo momma so fat, she got to iron her pants on the driveway. *Yo momma so fat I've known her all my life ... and I still haven't seen ALL of her! *Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller. *Yo momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets. *Yo momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th. *Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too. *Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear, "Caution! Wide Turn." *Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE! *Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read, "One at a time, please." *Yo momma so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo. *Yo momma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs! *Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code! *Yo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen! *Yo momma so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved! *Yo momma so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her! *Yo momma so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in! *Yo momma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago... *Yo momma so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg. *Yo momma so fat , her legs are like spoiled milk - white & chunky! *Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitch's good side! *Yo momma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose. *Yo momma so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball! *Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell! *Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views! *Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon! *Yo momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in! *Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips! *Yo momma so fat her belly button's got an echo. *Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks! *Yo momma so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper! *Yo momma so fat she uses a pillow case as a sock. *Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out! *Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights! *Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out! *Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans! *Yo momma so fat her blood type is ragu. *Yo momma so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping *Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets. *Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas. *Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her. *Yo momma so fat when she dances at a concert the whoelband skips! *Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones. *Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through. *Yo momma so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps. *Yo momma so fat that she can't tie her own shoes. *Yo momma so fat sets off car alarms when she runs. *Yo momma so fat she can't reach her back pocket. *Yo momma so fat when she wears a Malcomn-X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back! *Yo momma so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth. *Yo momma so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures. *Yo momma so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard. *Yo momma so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles. *Yo momma so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon. *Yo momma so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl. *Yo momma so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it. *Yo momma so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?" *Yo momma so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow! *Yo momma so fat she uses I-95 for a Slip 'n Slide. *Yo momma so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks. *Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts! *Yo momma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet. *Yo momma so fat she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship. *Yo momma so fat she accidently got a 757 caught in her teeth. *Yo momma so fat to her, "light food," means under 4 Tons! *Yo momma so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals! *Yo momma so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ! *Yo momma so fat she was zoned for commercial development. *Yo momma so fat she won, "Miss Bessie the Cow 94." *Yo momma so fat she has her own brand of jeans: FA - FatAss Jeans. Stupid *Yo momma so stupid, she studied for a drug test! *Yo momma so stupid, she thought, "Wu Tang" was an African orange drink! *Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl. *Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! *Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order! *Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone! *Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money! *Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight! *Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund! *Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. *Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put, "O.K." *Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread. *Yo momma so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners. *Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch! *Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home. *Yo momma so stupid she took an umbrella to see Purple Rain. *Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes. *Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends. *Yo momma so stupid she told everyone that she was, "Illegitiment" because she couldn't read. *Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind. *Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ! *Yo momma so stupid she took a cup to see Juice. *Yo momma so stupid she asked you, "What is the number for 999 (911)?" *Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out. *Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl. *Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check. *Yo momma so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back. *Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train. *Yo momma so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?" she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too." *Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif. *Yo momma so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean! *Yo momma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds! *Yo momma so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. *Yo momma so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead. *Yo momma so stupid she jumped out the window and went up. *Yo momma so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund. *Yo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain. *Yo momma so stupid that under, "Education," on her job application, she put, "Hooked on Phonics." *Yo momma so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house. *Yo momma so stupid she watches, "The Three Stooges" and takes notes. *Yo momma so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday. *Yo momma so stupid she thought gangrene was another golf course. *Yo momma so stupid that she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut. *Yo momma so stupid, she couldn't read an audio book. *Yo momma so stupid it take her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch. *Yo momma so stupid she stands up on an empty bus. *Yo momma so stupid it take her a week to get rid of a 24 hourr virus. *Yo momma so stupid it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg. *Yo momma so stupid she has to ask for help to use hamburger helper . *Yo momma so stupid she went to Disney World and saw a sign that said "Disney World - Left" so she went home. *Yo momma so stupid she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said, "Guess" so she said, "Levi's." Teeth are so Yellow *Yo mommas teeth are so yellow, traffic slows down when she smiles! *Yo mommas teeth are so yellow, she spits butter! *Yo mommas teeth are so yellow, I can't believe its not butter. Old *Yo momma so old, she has Jesus' beeper number! *Yo momma so old, her social security number is 1! *Yo momma so old, she older than yo grandma! *Yo momma so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch! *Yo momma so old that when she was in school, there was no history class. *Yo momma so old, she owes Jesus 3 quid (3 bucks)! *Yo momma so old she's in Jesus's yearbook! *Yo momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. *Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it. *Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince. *Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper. *Yo momma so old she ran track with dinosaurs. *Yo momma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals. *Yo momma so old when she reads the bible she reminisces. *Yo momma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. *Yo momma so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything". *Yo momma so old she was Jesus Wet Nurse. *Yo momma so old shes blind from the big bang. *Yo momma so old even God calls her mother! Saggy *Yo momma so saggy - so saggy - I thought she was a shopping bag! Poor *Yo momma so poor, she bounces food stamps!! *Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box! *Yo momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention! *Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush! *Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway. *Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk. *Yo momma so poor burglars break in her house and leave money. *Yo Momma so poor she can't afford the o or the r. *Yo Momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, and she said, "Moving." *Yo Momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers! *Yo Momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says, "DING!" *Yo Momma so poor her face is on the front of a food stamp. *Yo Momma is so poor when she heard about the last supper she thought she had ran out of food stamps. *Yo Momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage." *Yo Momma so poor she drives a peanut. *Yo Momma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning. *Yo Momma so poor she does drive by shootings on the bus. *Yo Momma so poor you put RoundUp on the weeds and she said, "There goes breakfast, lunch, and dinner!" *Yo Momma so poor you asked her where the facilities were, and she said, "Pick a corner, any corner." *Yo Momma so poor I walked into your house and 3 roaches tripped me & tried to take my wallet! *Do you know the story about the little old woman that lives in a shoe? Well, Yo mama so poor she live in a flip flop! Short *Yo momma so short she gotta slam-dunk her bus fare! *Yo momma so short you can see her feet on her drivers lisence! *Yo momma so short, she models for trophys. *Yo Momma so short that she has to hold up a sign that says, "Dont Spit! I Cant Swim!" Like A *Yo momma like a shot gun, two cocks and she blows! *Yo momma like Domino's pizza -- Something for nothing. *Yo momma like spoiled milk, fat and chunky! *Yo momma like cake mix, 15 servings per package! *Yo momma like a bowling ball: She's picked up, fingered, and thrown in the gutter. *Yo momma like a Toyota: "Oh what a feelin'!" *Yo momma like Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!" *Yo momma like a hockey team...changes her pads every three periods! *Yo momma like chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap! *Yo momma is like a racing car...chick burned four rubbers in one night. *Yo momma like castlebury stew: servings are family size. Category:Jokes